She’s gotta soggy-ass-cracker hanging out of her mouth. She is holding on to my two first-fingers lookin up at me as she wobbles between my legs. Our sweet baby is quite the chunk. Her head is bigger than mine (haha, no joke).

Let’s just say my girl is dense!

Her eyes are this brilliant-bright-brown and the whites of her eyes are almost doll-like.

She’s learning how to walk and dammmmmn is she brave. I love her so fucking much.

It sucks that I can’t share her with you. Not yet. (BTW: if you pray, please pray that one day soon I will get the chance to share her with you! If that day comes, that is because she is officially ours). If you’re new to my story, we are foster parents. We support reunification 100% of the time until circumstances change and that is not an option. This is one of those situations.

Anyway, she’s walking. Just yesterday, I was holding her at the hospital. She hadn’t eaten a single thing but miraculously the day we met- she did.

We chose each other. Ironically, she came to us on my 33rd birthday. Why is it ironic? Because 33 is a lucky number of mine. Oh, and my 30th was also spent in a hospital except it was because my daughter was dying… not coming home. (Wait til you hear about her name… and how even more ironic that is! Man does God work in mysterious ways).

Time flies though man. I love it… it makes me excited about waking up each day. It keeps me humble. It keeps me present. It keeps me mindful.

My point with all of this is this. You know how people say shit like “don’t blink!” then you go about your life and don’t really apply it? You bitch about your job. You hate your body. You want more money. You feel like you haven’t seen your kids even though they live right there with ya.

Well that needs to stop. I don’t mean to guilt you I just genuinely want to help you.

Start living in the present. Take in the little in between moments.

When its quiet and calm…when its “down time” are you on your phone or are you looking at your wife’s eyebrows flinch when the pan sqwaks at her? Like, where are you?

Are you watching a show when its finally quiet time… or are you taking in your daughter’s focus face while she plays on her tablet? Observing her little mind at work. The wonder in her eyes as she feels challenged doing whatever she’s doing.

Please start being present. Notice the soggy ass crackers hanging out of their mouths.

Because once its gone… its gone.

I love you so much.